iluvllamas42x

 Don't you just hate how when you look up to someone as a hero, a role model, or whatever; that person for whatever they do that has made you relieze something. Something that changed your perspective on life, that has changed your outlook, changed your choices, and they turn around and do the complete oppisite of what you heard them preach about?

I'm not going to say any names here but I've looked up to some people for quite some time now and it amazes me how much they are the complete oppisite of what they see themselves as. I mean the reason I looked up to them in the first place was because they made me relieze a HUGE part of my life. They made me relieze what I wanted to do with my life. I mean granted their just people and people make mistakes. When you talk about yourselves so highly and you speak to people like me, kids, about things such as Drugs, Alcohol, or whatever else and tell us. "Oh don't do that." or "Oh this is bad for you." THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IT?! Why are you suggesting to us not to do it and turning around and snorting down that line or drinking straight from the bottle? It just amuses me how two-faced they really are. And yet I thought they helped me relieze something. HA! Boy was I wrong?

You have probably already guessed who I'm talking about. If you haven't, not to sound like a bitch or anything, but I'm not telling you who. I don't want to have someone bitch me out and then later thank me for making them relieze how two-faced they really are. I mean, I'd consider myself a fan. I mean, I love those guys but really? "Change." They speak of change all the fucking time and yet they want to keep the true fans. NEWS FLASH DICKHEADS! Your losing fans due to your fucked up, drug infested brains and you don't even care about the fans. I mean come on! "Oh we always hang with the fans after the show." YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! I waited to meet a couple guys who I admire for 3 FUCKING HOURS and they don't show. The guards forced me out. FORCED ME OFF THE DAMN PROPERTY! Personally I think that's a true fan, to even wait that long, and yet still They don't fucking care. I've thought countless times on telling them through letters or e-mail but like they'd fucking care. HA! I'd just make a fool of myself. I already embarassed myself in front of one of them,why not make a joke of myself and hopefully make them relieze how much of a dickhead each of them are.

I don't even know where most of this is coming from but I guess it needs to be said. One thing I've learned it the truth is a bitch take it how it is. I wonder if they'll be able to take the truth once they find out that their "Beloved Fans" have turned their backs against them completely. Smart choice for a band, Huh? Man, 'Until the End' my ass.

-See♥

(Sorry for this rant, I'm a pissed 'fan' or something like that, and it feels hella good now that that is spoken)

 So last ngiht, I saw Bury Your Dead and Throwdown.

I was there for BYD though.

Line-up:

The Word We Know

For Today

Abacabb

BURY YOUR DEAD

THROWDOWN

and

SUICIDE SILENCE

During the openers, people really ticked me off. Well just tow guys. The were running FULL FUCKING SPEED and JUMPING on top of people. One of the hit me in the back of my neck and in the nose and the other one jumped and fell of Munchkin(my bestie) knocking her to the floor. Yay, I'll tell you this much both me and Munchkin were to the point if those two did something again their asses would be dead. lol. Plus they had like the whole pit against them that's how many people were pissed. Dickheads..... lol.

Once BYD hit the stage I was pumped. Nothing really happened til the end that hurt. Some different guy jumped because Myke(lead singer) was in front of me and landed on my head. I was right in front of the wooden baracade so of course See's luck. BAM! Face plant into the wood. I hurt like hell today but nothing major. Thank god. Myke didn't really notice but saw me stumble and kind of pull me up. Nice guy that man. Plus, he's a sweetheart. lol.

Bubble wasn't playing bass. Not sure why. I think he must have been sick or something. Hmm...who knows. lol. I was sad but it didn't damper my night. lol.

Throwdown was fantastic. I had to get out of the pit though, my head was killing me. Munchkin, Marissa, and I were leaning against the wall OUT OF THE DAMN WAY and the fucking gaurd mad us move. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? Atlanta asshole. Lol. We left before Suicide Silence because I don't really like them plus, all of us INCLUDING MY FUCKING MOTHER!!!!!!! were pretty beat up. Fucking assholes. I mean I get the whole having fun and all but RUNNING FULL FUCKING SPEED AND JUMPING ON PEOPLE! WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!? Lol. I mean come on people came to rock out and mosh but I don't think HURTING people was in the description. I mean jeez, open your eyes dickhead?! Lol. Mom told me to hit him back...I would say I did but he kind of stopped when the very nice guy behind me hit him. Lol. Dick.....

Over all I had a blast. I will tell you guys this. Granted it was pretty hurtful and all those were just the first couple bands. If you have the chance to see Bury Your Dead or Throwdown DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and have fun, don't hurt people. lol.

-See♥

PS:

I have found a good way to be a smartass and talk shit. USE SONG TITLES! Lol. It's hilarious!

"You know what this is not ALMOST EASY!"

"Guh, this is my STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN!"

"Bitch I'm WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE!"

"Hey guess what? I'M NOT JESUS!"

We had fun with that one. I mean there's so many you can come up with.

Number 1: Great way to be a smartass!

Number 2: Funny as hell reactions!

and

Number 3: You don't even have to get physical due to the fact they other person will be like "What the hell are they talking about?!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love my life.

So here's the first little diddy I've thought up. lol.

I honestly love it although I kind of think the end sucks. lol.

Hope you guys LOVE it!

Because Tonight Will Be The Night That I Will Fall For You Over Again

 He kissed me softly. "Hopefully, I'll see you next time we hit the town." He whispered the lie I knew I'd get for sleeping with a typical rockstar. I'm seventeen, and well I'm a rebel. Let's face it, my parents would DEFINATLY be pissed at me when they find out about this. Let's hope they don't, but my gut feeling is telling me they will. Oh the joy to look forward to that. "Hopefully, I do see you around sometime." I said pulling my pants up and buttoning them. He smiled and handed me my tee-shirt that was once thrown over a lamp. I smiled and pulled it over my head. I finished getting dressed and he kissed me once last time before sending me on my way out of his hotel room. I wasn't going to lie but tonight was so much fun. I never thought I get to know my favorite band's lead singer like that *Wink Wink*. Unforgettable.

**A month later**

I tried calming myself as I waited for the test result to come in. I watched the small clock on my bed-side table, 10 minutes passed, and I sprinted to the bathroom. I grabbed the pregnancy test and nearly fainted, positive. Now would be the time for the parent talk, great.

**18 years later**

I swallowed hard as CJ took on last look at our house. I held back as many tears as I could. I never thought I'd send my baby boy to war, never in a million years. "Mom, I'm ready." He said taking a deep breath in. I nodded unable to say anything as I watched his tall figure covered in camouflage walked toward my car holding a tan bag that would soon become his only belonging. I shut the front door and locked it. I followed the stepping stones to the driveway and got into the driver's side. I started the car and we headed to a local diner Ness and Tony told us to meat them at.

"CJ dude, I can't believe we're actually going though with this." Alex said as he sipped his soft drink. "Dude, I know. I don't know what Mom's going to do." He said nudging me in my shoulder. "Hey, granted your like a foot taller then me and you may have more physical power then me you know for a fact I can still kick your ass." I said smiling. He laughed. "I'd pay to see that." Tony said laughing. "Hey, I already kicked your ass this month. Shhhh." I said messing with him. "Hey, it's not my fault, I swear the damn dog took your ice cream." He said holding his hands with in defeat. We all laughed. Good times like this will be missed dearly.

  I felt the tears begin to fall as I watched other kids load the bus and their family watching every second hoping they'd come back. "That's our bus." CJ said to Alex as he turned toward me. The tears began to fall faster and faster then. "Mom stop crying, I've told you not to cry at this since we found out." CJ pleaded. I smiled. "Hey you know they were bound to come." I said laughing hugging him for as long as I could. I never wanted him to go but as a parent I have to let go. "I love you mom. I'll write as much as I can. I promise you I'll be fine. You know me. I'll fight till the end." I smiled. "I know you will. Love you honey." I said as I kissed his cheek. He headed over to Tony and Ness and said his goodbyes to them. Alex walked over to me. "Mrs. Sierra, you're like a second mom to me. Thank you for everything." He said as he hugged me. "You're like a second son Alex. Do me a favor?" I asked. He nodded. "You both watch each others back. If one of you fall the other goes with. You'll both get through this. Take care of each other." I said making sure CJ heard me. He did. They both nodded. Tony, Ness and I watched as the boys walked toward their bus on their way to war. All three of us had tears. I slowly wiped mine away. The bus pulled away as CJ and Alex had their hands out the window waving at us. I smiled.

"See, you'll be okay?" Tony asked as he pulled Ness closer to him. I nodded wiping the last of the tears away. "I'll be fine." "Okay, call if you need anything." Ness said. Tony and Ness headed to their car. I turned around to head to my car but ran into someone and fell to the concrete. "You okay, miss?" a voice asked. I nodded. "Sorry about that." "Hear I'll help you up." He said holding his hand out. I couldn't see his face the sun was to bright. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up. I dusted myself off. "Sorry again about that" I said looking up finally seeing his face. My heart stopped. I'd recognize those eyes and dimples anyway. His eyebrows pulled together. "Do I know you?" he asked leaning a bit closer to me. I shied away. "I'm not sure." I said smiling. "Sierra is that really you?" He asked smiling. I bit my lip. "Yep. I didn't think you even knew my name yet you remembered it." I said giving into the fact that I was in fact standing in front of the man CJ never stopped bothering me about. "I would never forget you. What are you doing here?" He asked. I wanted so hard to laugh but held it back. "Just sent my son out." I said digging my nails into my arm trying to hold back my tears. "Your son?" I nodded. "Yep. CJ." "How old is he?" "18." His eye grew huge. " Wow, how are you dealing? Wait you said 18?" "I'm doing fine. Yes, 18. And to answer the question you're thinking yes he's our boy." I said pointing to the both of us. "So I have a child. A boy." He said. I nodded knowing it wasn't a question. "Are you free the rest of the night?" I asked. For some reason, I wasn't nervous at all. I mean, I've thought many times about this moment. This moment where we'd finally met up and CJ could finally meet his Dad. I always told myself that I'd stumble over my words, I'd trip or embarrass myself somehow, although running into his is kind of on that level. He nodded. "Yeah." "Well, how about I tell you something about you're amazing son?" I said smiling. How much I wanted CJ to be here to finally see his Dad? He has changed since. He nodded. "Full name?" He started asking question after question. I answered as many as I could.

"So how have you been? I mean we haven't exactly spent any time together." Matt said ripping apart a tiny piece of grass he found on the park bench we were sitting at. "I've been doing well. My parents pretty much disowned me because I was pregnant at seventeen. I was fine with that though. CJ was the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know he looks so much like you. It's crazy." "Really? I bet all the ladies are after him." He said smiling. I laughed. "You don't even know it." "So a husband?" He asked. I shook my head. "Nope. Haven't found him yet." "Really? I haven't found my wife yet either. I've been looking for her for the longest time though or well it's felt like a long time." He said smiling. Those dimples could make any girl melt. "How long exactly?" I asked. "18 years. I spent the best night of my life with her." He said leaning closer to me. Our lips met and I felt like I was seventeen again and meet Matt Sanders for the first time and nearly dying of happiness because he was asking me questions. He slowly pulled away. "Sierra, I wish I wouldn't have been so stupid then and let you left without giving me your number and keep you around." He said smiling. I giggled. "As long as you see your son, that'll make up for everything or well close to everything." He laughed. "You'll let me see him?" "Of course I will." I said smiling. "I never thought I'd be able to tell you this but Sierra I love you." He said smiling. I felt butterflies invade my stomach and my mouth spread into the biggest smile imaginable. "Matt, I love you too."

**One Year and a Half later**

Matt pulled into the parking lot and Ness, Tony, and I sprinted to bus area, Matt right behind me. We were a bit late. The good thing was, so was CJ's and Alex's bus. We stood patiently. Matt was shaking like he had been put in an ice box. "Matt, baby, you okay?" I asked leaning against his shoulder. "Yep. I'm just nervous as hell." "You'll be fine. He'll love you. Trust me." I assured him. "Okay." The bus pulled into the unloading area and about fifty people walked out before I saw our son. Freshly buzzed hair, tall figure, hazel eyes and those dimples that ran in the genes, he made his way toward us. That tan back tattered and torn tossed across his shoulder like a little run away bag. Alex right behind him looking almost exactly the same. Ness ran toward her son and nearly jumped on him yelling "I swear to god if you go away for that long again, I'm going to kill you." CJ ran toward me once he saw me. He pulled me into a hug. "I've missed you mom!" He yelled smiling. "I've missed you so much CJ. I have someone I want you to meet." I said as he put me down. "Who?" I pulled him over to Matt. "Cameron you've always asked me about your Father. When you left I literally ran into him. This is Matt Sanders your father." Matt had tears in his eyes, he know that was his boy. CJ had tears in his eyes as well. He looked Matt over making sure I wasn't lying. They were the same height and everything. You could tell that they were related. "Cameron." Matt whispered. "Dad?" CJ said tears falling down both they're faces and for the first time in CJ's life he hugged his Dad. I felt the tear fall from my eyes. This was the moment I've thought about for the past nineteen almost twenty years. This is my family. "There it is." Ness said standing beside me. I smiled. "There's your dream." Tony added. I smiled. "So that's the Dad huh?" Alex said smiling. "That's my family." I said smiling.

The boys never got called back into war, which was perfectly fine with Ness and I. Matt and CJ have barely left each others sides as they made up the last twenty years. Matt and I got married that summer and we've been together since. Not much to say but we are the family I've always dreamed about.

 Sierra L Smith-Matt C Sanders

^Cameron 'CJ' James Smith^

Vanessa D Garza-Tony J Lavato

^Alexander 'Alex' James Lavato^

Love? Hehe.

-Sierra♥

So I heard from a couple birds that today is Johnny Christ's Birthday.

NEVER will I forget this day for two reasons.

First:

3 years today was the first time I ever saw Avenged in concert.

Second:

Because of that concert, I am forever scared at Dan The Body's Interesting, for lack of a better term, lap dancing skills. HAHAHA!

THIS EXPLAINS!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUxBkh8-uf0

 Front and center for this concert, was ...... once again for lack of a better term..... Interesing.

HAHA!

Also, as Johnny's birthday present, even though he'll never see it, I am going to play Bat Country at my Winter Recital for the place I take lessons at. YAY! Lol.

Speaking on that I need to practice. Haha.........

-See♥

Another update!

Haha, that's about all you can expect from me. lol.

So let's get this shit started.

First:

From 11-21 to 11-29,

NO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!

Thankgiving break, Mofos!!!! Lol.

YAY!!!!!!! I'm so freakin excited! Lol.

With that said:

Second:

One-Shots/Multi-Shots/or just plain Fics!

Ideas are rolling in my noggin all the damn time and I have two ideas that I really like. So I might try and type those suckers up and post. YAY! Lol. I'll let you all know about them later in the week or this weekend. But know, that I WILL post something when I'm on break. If I don't, I give EVERYONE permission to bitch me out. HAHA.

Third:

On tuesday of next week, I have a concert to go too.

I'm seeing:

AKA

BURY YOUR FUCKING DEAD!

AHHHH!!!!! SEE IS SUPER DUPER ULTRA EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!!!

Lol. Some one you know but Bury Your Dead has become and HUGE ass liking to me. I saw them at Music As A Weapon in March of this year and ever since I haven't been able to stop listening to those fuckers. lol. I'll post some pictures so you guys can see them. Hehe.

There's the guys. (Bubble is so fuckin adorable! AHHHH!!! New love!)

Mark, Chris, Myke, Slim, and BUBBLE! (Bubble's real name is Aaron btw)

Okay, I'm going to try this. Myke, Slim, Bubble, Chris and Mark. Lol. Hopefully you guys can pick them out. lol. LOVE thier dorkness. Hehe. Cracks me up!♥

Oh and another reason why Ican't fucking wait for this concert is well because of these fellas:

Ben, Matt, Dave, and Mark.

(Hopefully that's right because I'm terrible with figuring out names to faces from insturments if that makes sense.) Lol.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking love Throwdown so I'm like a little kid in a candy shop right now. YAY!!!!

Plus, their playing at like the best venue in Atlanta, The Masqurade!

Like seriously, that place looks like an abandoned warehouse. It's F-AMAZING! Lol. There's three levels.

Heaven

Progatory(sp)

Hell

Throwdown and BYD are playing in Hell.

I saw Bleeding Through in Heaven and dude I kid you not, you could feel the floor actually BOUNCING under you from all the jumping, moshing and the other amazing activites you do at concerts. Hehe. YAY!!!!!

SEE IS once again SUPER DUPER ULTRA EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!

But anyways, This update is pretty damn long. I think it might be the pictures though. So that's what's pretty much going on in See's world.

CHECK YA LATER!

-See♥

This is why I love Emily Fuckin King so much!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Warning: Beware to laugh your ass off. I about died! 

Emily; says:

SIERRA!!!!!!!!!

Sierra says:

EMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily; says:

omg! dude I have like...THE BEST IDEA EVER!

Sierra says:

SPEAKITH!!!!

Emily; says:

JOHNNY CHRIST...

Sierra says:

OooO!

Emily; says:

ALPACA RIDER AND CAT WRANGER!!!!!!!!!

 muhahahahahahaha

Sierra says:

That is F-AMAZING!!!!!!

Emily; says:

HIS BAND MATES LAUGH AT HIM, BUT DEEP DOWN JOHNNY KNOWS HE'S MEANT TO BE....DO DOD DO DOOOOOO A ALPACA RIDER CAT WRANGER!!!!!

Sierra says:

HAHA! Oh my god, that is the best!

Emily; says:

ALSO THERE IS A DEEP DARK SECRET...

Emily; says:

AMOUNG HIS BAND MATES IS HIS ARCHNEMESIS...SYNYSTER GATES...CAT MAN!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

!!!

WHAT WILL JOHNNY DO?!

Sierra says:

OH MY GOSH!!!!???? I'm don't know!!! OOOOOOO!!!!!

Emily; says:

WILL HE STICK WITH THE BAND AND JUST BE PLAIN OLD JOHNNY CHRIST ALONG PLAYING WITH SYNYSTER OR WILL BE DO WHAT HE'S MEANT TO DO.... BE JOHNNY CHRIST ALPACA RIDER CAT WRANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 DO DO JOHNNY CHRIST DO DO JOHNNY CHRIST ALPACA RIDER CAT WRANGER!!!! YEAH!

<< THEME SONG RIGHT THERE... PLAYED ALL IN BASS

 Sierra says:

!!! Oh my god, that is EPIC!!!!

Emily; says:

Yes, yes it is...all coming from the mind of...DODODOOOOOO EMILYFUCKINGKING!!!

Sierra says:

Of course it is! Lol. It can't come from any where else! HAHA

Emily; says:

hahahahahahahahahaha

Emily; says:

omgomg

I forgot about his alpacas name!!!

and he owns Patty's Pretty Ping Pong FARM!!!

Sierra says:

OH MY FLYING GODS IN HEAVEN WITH FURRY HATS! That is EPIC!

Emily; says:

JOHNNY RIDES ON HIS ALPACA...LUCIFER...GO LUCIFER GO!!! ERRRRRRR!!!!!

LUCIFER THE CROSS-EYED ALPACA THAT WEARS A STRAW HAT

Sierra says:

HAHAHAHA!

Sierra says:

Dude this is fucking amazing.

Emily; says:

And one day, they go to the zoo....... NO LUCIFER DON'T FUCK THE CAMEL

NOOOO HE DOESN'T WANT TO TWO HUMPS!!

Oh god... Johnny Christ is in for one HELL OF A RIDE!

Sierra says:

HAHAHAHA!

Emily; says:

Synyster Gates laughes... OH NO NOW HE HAS THE BIG CATS ON HIS SIDE NOOOO....JOHNNY CONTAIN THAT HORNY ALPACA!!!

Emily; says:

JIMMY!!! HAHAHAHAHAH.... STALLION DUCK...WRANGER!!!

BUTT NOOO THERE TOOO FUCKING HUGE FOR THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!

JIMMY COMES FLYING DOWN

Sierra says:

ROTFLMAO

Emily; says:

KNOCKS JOHNNY OFF THAT HORNY ALPACA AND THEY GO TO NINJI KICK SYN'S CAT ASS!!

OH AND MATT IS SYN'S MASTER.

Sierra says:

lol

Emily; says:

OHHHHH TANK MASTER M.SHADOWS *BOWS DOWN* I SYN WILL FEED YOU TUNA!! AND OTHER CAT LIKE FOODS.

Oh yeah Zack and Gena are on Vacation... they needed to get away from all this CRAZYNESS!!!

Sierra says:

I'm dying here!!!!! that is EPIC!

Emily; says:

hehehehehe

Emily; says:

um....... someone HAS TO WIN SO....

Sierra says:

Hehe

Emily; says:

OH ITS A NOW DEATH MATCH, BETWEEN MASTER M.SHADOWS AND SYN VS JIMMY AND JOHNNY

JIMMY HAS STALLION DUCK POWER

SYN HAS THROWING CAT POWER!!!!!!!!!! MMMEEEEEEEEOW!!

Sierra says:

HAHAHAHAHA

Emily; says:

AND IN THE END.....

EVERYONE DIES.

FROM A FART THE CAMEL ....THEY'RE AWFUL.... icky

*from

the end

Sierra says:

OH MY F-IN GOD!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

 So lately I've been thinking about starting over my buzznet.

NOT DELETEING!!!!!!

Just starting over. A clean slate.

I'll leave my pictures and stuff but just my journals. Well I might delete some pictures. lol.

I'm deleteing ALL of my fics!!!! ALL OF THEM!

I know what your thinking "SIERRA YOU ARE FUCKING NUTS!" Lol.

I'm starting over. A new mind-set and all.

I'll still write but differently.

I'll still have band in them but not how I used them previously.

Hard to explain.

Which means whatever I haven't finished or was going to continue is pretty much done. I'm not doing it.

I've just been getting bored with Buzznet lately. I'm hoping this'll help out a bit. A new slate.

Oh and just because I'm deleteing my fics or so be it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop writing all together. I will keep writing and reading.

So I don't have much to say so PEACE!

-Sierra♥